Ten years of marriage is a major milestone. You should congratulate yourselves on this achievement. However, if this does not put you in a celebratory mood, then a serious introspection is a must. You might be one of the couples who managed to last this long, but you’re not exactly thrilled with how your relationship with your spouse is going.
If it’s any consolation, this isn’t uncommon. The honeymoon period of your marriage is long gone, and now you’re faced with more demanding obligations than romantic prospects. The worst part is that this could be affecting how you manage your family.
If you’re looking to fine-tune your marriage after reaching this milestone, then you’re in luck. The problems you’re experiencing already have solutions waiting to be put into action.
Just Roommates
After a while, the spark fizzles out, and the bedroom becomes just another shared space between the two of you. This tends to happen when you’ve neglected to keep the romance alive through gift-giving, date nights, and other activities that you used to enjoy. Without this effort, you can relegate yourselves to becoming roommates and hating many things about it.
The solution is simple: exit the roommate territory by adding romantic elements to your bedroom. Install themed lighting, buy new, comfortable bedding, and add scents that you both like. Get inspiration from hotel rooms you both consider idyllic. This should help you feel more like romantic partners than college roommates forced to live together.
No More Sultry Nights
Your intimacy could be unsatisfactory for several reasons. For some, their libidos don’t match, or both are no longer regularly aroused. For others, they might be too stressed with parenthood or their professional careers to have time for it. And then there’s the issue of health, both mental and physical, that could affect your ability to perform. Whatever it is, know that these obstacles are normal.
The solution rests primarily in your willingness to improve your romantic life. All the help you need is pretty much available to you already. Sex therapy is becoming more and more popular among couples nowadays, and issues like erectile dysfunction can be addressed with gainswave ED treatment.
What you need is to communicate whatever hurdles you’re facing that prevents you from enjoying an active romantic life. Take things slowly, and manage your expectations. Mind-blowing lovemaking should not always be the goal, after all. What you need most is meaningful intimacy.
Boring is the Right Adjective
Is your marriage boring? While you can’t expect every day to be romantic, happy, and exciting, you should also not settle for a dull relationship. Experts claim that boredom happens when you take each other for granted and avoid undertaking risky behavior. This can include talks about age, sex, and long-forgotten dreams. There might be discussions that you’ve put off long enough and decisions that you are just no longer sure how to deal with.
Sit down and address these matters once and for all. Communicate the boredom and collaborate on a solution. Maybe it’s something simple like adding something to your routine, or it could be something drastic like finally migrating to a new country.
Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to do it. You might be met with disappointment when the results don’t meet your expectations, but that should only motivate you to try the next thing on your list. Trial-and-error is inevitable in this one, so take your time and have fun looking for fun in your marriage.
Holding You Back
Married life and parenthood demand sacrifices. They will inevitably shuffle your priorities and put you somewhere down the bottom of the pyramid. In the process of giving up certain goals and aspirations, regardless if it’s personal or professional, you may start to harbor resentment or dissatisfaction.
Again, communicate this with your spouse. After a decade of compromise, perhaps there’s a way to start making more time for yourselves. You owe it to one another to find fulfillment as a couple and as individuals.
Your Family Is Worth the Effort
It takes a lot of guts to restore your marriage to its former glory, which was a time when you were both crazy in love with one another. And while this might no longer be possible, it is not out of the picture to achieve a different kind of happiness after you’ve hit the ten-year mark. Striving for this is essential in keeping your family happy as a whole because the two of you are the pillars on which it relies on.
